twins

I finally made my first successful eBay purchase for myself this week. It was also the first time I successfully used bid sniper (thanks go to WendyB for the recommendation!) which means sadly my free trial is over (unless they give me more snipes for that link...)

In the meantime, I slipped into my new dress as soon as it arrived and started prancing around in my bedroom, feeling all summery and bright despite the deluge I can hear outside.

I say 'new dress', but then I started thinking about that's quite a misleading statement in a number of ways

1) It's from eBay. I know it's at least two years old, because I remember when it was in the shops. However it was sold 'as new', smells totally new, no weird stains or anything of that sort. I feel like the stitching could be tighter, but if it unravels it should be pretty easy to fix.

2) Is it really a dress? It covers my bum when I'm standing up. And the top of my thighs. I see it as a dress, but the eBay seller sold it as a 'top/tunic' and most other people might agree... also, I've been wearing it as a dress for the last two years and haven't received too many outraged glares.

Which leads me to number 3):

I sort of already have it. The same style, the same brand, the same fabric, the same size: the same dress. Only difference is the colourway. I normally try to refrain from buying duplicates; I see it as lazy and that there are so many great options out there, why buy the same thing twice? I'll do it with workout clothes and underwear, but that's it normally. Maybe with a basic t-shirt. But a statement dress??

Except I don't like to call my new dress a copy; I prefer to think of it as a twin. The same design and DNA maybe, but different colours and patterns and motifs branded on the hem and back. The comfort of the known: when I bid, I knew it would flatter and fit me and I know what clothes it will work with. But at the same time, the excitement of the unknown: different palette, different vibe.



Twin I---------------------------Twin II

So really, I still think of it as a new dress.

hey baby you're back

I hadn't picked up my DSLR for so long.

I don't tend to take it to parties, for fear of damaging it, and I didn't take it on holiday with me this year, so I've mainly been using my smaller digital camera for any moments that have needed documenting.


The one thing which really inspires me to want to take photos is the sight of beautiful plants in summer. It has been hitting 30 degrees this week and summer really seems to have arrived (for now; rain is returning later in the week) and when walking or running I have always wished I had my camera with me. The great thing about plants is that they're colourful, gorgeous and alive, yet most importantly they don't move. I struggle with the free will of humans and animals, and the frozen-ness of objects, but flowers I love. This is probably more to do with lack of skill than personal preference, but I was wondering, those of you who are interested in photography, do you too find strengths in one particular area?


I should have known that I'd get distracted when I decided to work in the garden today. When it started getting windy I packed up all my pieces of paper and abandoned any pretence of working in favour of brushing the dust off my camera and taking some photos.

Internet ban?

Have you ever self-imposed one of these?

Obvs I would need to keep certain sites like dictionary.reverso.net and other sleep-inducing things of boredom. But I'm thinking this weekend I really, really need an internet ban.

Why? Well, let me count (just some of) the ways.

• Hours spent trawling eBay for things I need/want/am interested in/am amused by.
• Hours spent on Facebook generally being a stalker but also, more importantly, running an awesome(ly loser-ish) café on Café World.
• The sheer quantity of old episodes of Criminal Minds I have ploughed my way through - oh, and the fact that I am now shit-scared whenever I am alone ANYWHERE that a serial killer is about to take me hostage.
• Pages and pages of articles and blogs etc which I cannot stop reading until past midnight.

And now let me count (just some of) the reasons why it isn't going to happen.

• I have like 50 watched items on eBay this weekend.
• I have so many meals cooking in my virtual café. They would be spoiled!
• I would get lonely eating lunch alone without Reid and Hotcher and the rest of team.
• I love you guys too much. Your writing makes me think, laugh, unwind.

But, seriously, I do have Very Important Exams Very Soon. It's quite funny, but it's a universal thing among all my friends. We are all too stressed and busy to meet up, but if I tallied up all the hours I have wasted as noted above, they would easily equal a crazy all night party AND a day's recovery. But seeing as we are not wired to function so logically, I should at least be spending my spare time exercising or something, and reading vaguely related material to the exams (in fairness, I did read Grazia today. Does that count?).

But then, that wouldn't be logical.

Made up

Today I was in Selfridges and about to walk out when a lady approached me from a make-up counter and offered to do my face. I looked like shit today and so I was not surprised. I accepted the offer, and it was only afterwards that I realised I was in the Topshop section and the make-up was Topshop. I asked the lady since when Topshop has been doing make-up and she said it was only launched this month, so I guess that's why I had never noticed it before.

She was piling it on, or at least that's how it felt to me. I am terrible with make-up; can't apply it, can't be bothered to learn. And it's not even like I have the excuse of naturally glowing skin - my 'excuse' is that starting to apply foundation might actually make my spots worse.

But when I looked in the mirror, it really didn't look like I was wearing very much at all. I just looked like I actually got some sleep last night, and like I actually have eyelashes, which I think are both very positive things.

They don't actually sell foundation, which is probably a good thing as none of my past forays into foundation have exactly been successful. I have to admit I sort of lost focus when she explained everything she applied, but looking on the Topshop website, I have a feeling it was every single skin product they have available: Skin Glow, Skin Tint (both in Light), Brighten in Moonlight (concealer) AND Blush (in Flush). Hmm.

Everything's so cheap, which means that for a total make-up failure like me, you don't feel so bad buying it for the sake of experimentation.

I ended up actually buying one of them, the skin tint, because it's really a moisturiser and I can deal with moisturiser. Still, I have no idea how I will apply it. I might engage in some male-up experiments with my new skin tint and some decaying blusher and congealed concealer I'm sure I have knocking about somewhere in my ever-so dusty make-up box.

I am determined to make this work, because who doesn't love looking like they had a full night's sleep?

therapeutic retail

I am still super-stressed. I don't mind working hard, but I'm getting so drained that any down-time gets spent slumped staring mindlessly at some sort of screen, instead of anything more productive or fun. Exercise? I think I'm forgetting the meaning of the word.

I can't wait for this week to be over, because I go on study leave and then I will be allowed to time-keep on my own terms, which in my world means that being awake should never be experienced before 10 AM, under any circumstances.

Today I decided to break from the spirit-numbing routine and delay the start of my Desperate Housewives zombie-state marathon by half an hour. I stopped off on the way home and I checked out a couple of shoe shops, because I need new shoes.

However, I have come to realise that functionality is a huge limiting factor on the power of retail therapy. Also problematic are guilty expensive purchases, painful things (e.g. gorgeous new heels), or beautiful stuff which makes you feel ugly and fat.

Which made this £5 silly little necklace the perfect choice. I didn't need it at all.

diary

Oh my god, I have SO much to write about. But two nights ago I got four hours of broken sleep due to some idiotic time-keeping (no, really. I was operating four hours ahead of real time for over an hour before realising that the reason it's dark is because it's THREE THIRTY AT NIGHT).

I think I am still recovering. Over the past two days I have been thinking and doing some very strange things... among them I can include eating chocolate, which I haven't done in over three years; switching political allegiances, at the polling station (don't worry though; never Tory); altering my opinion on who I like and who I don't (I know technically it should be 'whom' but that just sounds pretentious).

But, anyway, yesterday I moved my bedtime forward to 9PM and today it's 10 so I'm obviously not very good at this timekeeping stuff. I had better be off, which makes this post something I haven't done in a while! Since September according to my archives. An 'off to bed post'.

For those of you who haven't read them before, click here to read the cringeingly bad series of posts written, as you can probably guess from their name, just before I went to sleep. I refuse to delete them, even though I know for my own pride's sake, I should.

The Chair she sat in, like a burnished throne

A few days ago, I sat down at my desk in my pyjamas for a day of work. It felt wrong and I couldn't motivate myself so I decided to get dressed (up). I put on a silk dress which I received in February but which I haven't had the opportunity to wear yet. Sitting at my desk in a luxurious dress I felt kind of silly, but also nice and important.

I carried on wearing the dress through my evening plans, but I think even if I didn't have evening plans, it's an interesting idea to dress in beautiful things even if the only person enjoying the sight of them is yourself. Especially if the only person enjoying the sight of them is yourself (because you don't need to fear being over-dressed, under-dressed or otherwise inappropriately dressed). The beautiful printed animals were sort of distracting, though.




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For ages now (maybe a year) I have noticed a ring my mum has. It is always somewhere else; sometimes on the stairs, sometimes on the windowsill in the lounge. Today I noticed it's been getting a bit damaged, so this is what I said to her:

'I thought it might be a good idea for me to wear it, seeing as it's going to get lost or damaged lying about the house, at least until you decide what you want to do with it'

I have no idea where she got it from but I love wearing it and feeling even more regal and ridiculous.

Excuse the ink stained finger, I swear the ink from my pen must have permanently stained my skin as I can't get rid of it!