Part III - formulated and foiled

Come on. You can't seriously tell me that you didn't guess what part III of my action plan to combat the red shift taking place in my wardrobe would be, could you?

Well, if you didn't, stylish readers, I am disappointed in you. It was the most natural progression possible! It was... going shopping!!!

Of course, nothing is ever as simple, especially when it involves recreating style, ensuring functionality, not emptying out the bank account and doing all this during the month of August aka The Season of Dead Fashion.

So, naturally, I began to make lists, in the corners of discarded spreadsheets and at the back of my Moleskine diary. Most of the items are along the lines of:

• Hardwearing riding-esque winter boots
• Dark drapy top
• Grey cardigan or jumper

(i.e. clothes which are impossible to find in the summer, even when said summer consists of clouds and rain)

Even though I have not actually been shopping, I have browsed through several shops. The clothes I have seen are not particularly inspiring, and I have noticed myself being distracted by other attractions, such as a huge grey patent purse (down from £225 to £60 - bargain!, right?) and these:

In the past few days, I have suddenly begun to take note of shop windows. SALE signs scream loudly; I follow their call to be met with a disappointing jumble of 'bargains' which at half price are only ridiculously expensive as opposed to hideously expensive. But there were a couple of cool displays, it has to be said.

Mostly though, I was distracted by the painfully fashionable people which seem to be everywhere, pointing and laughing and jeering at my jeans and my cotton t-shirt (OK maybe that last bit is paranoid imagining, but the first bit is definitely true; everyone else is way more stylish when you're shopping).

Still, never fear. I am now biding my time for the September rush of new season clothes, which I can justify at full-price as I know they won't go into sale for at least four, maybe five months, by which time I will have worn them to death, obviously. And in the meantime, I have put Part IV of the plan in motion...