I found this video posted Phoebe, stylish and deservedly successful writer of the blog Lady Melbourne, really interesting.
Property of Lady Melbourne's blog!
As a long-term blogger, I nevertheless do not have a very wide audience. The reason I have always attributed is that I don't make enough of an effort to advertise, comment etc. This is of course true, and when I do make that effort my readership does creep up, but I have never even at the height of my effort become 'famous'. Watching this video was like an illumination for me. I do everything I could possibly do wrong: irregular posting schedule, lack of consistency in content, uncontrollable word count; I don't know what the hell I am doing.
Don't get me wrong, I am completely and utterly not complaining about my blog. I don't want a famous blog, because I want to maintain anonymity which is much easier when no-one you know knows this blog exists.
But there is something about the way I write here which is reflected in the way I live my life. Partly, that is worrying. Not being able to figure out your feelings, your direction, not being able to come to a succinct conclusion of what you want to do next are all the nots which fill my existence.
Then I remember that nothing, even a negative not, has to be a bad thing. A friend asked me on Wednesday what my political and idealistic views were, and was taken aback when I said I didn't know. Apparently, as I work hard that means I must know. Have I not thought about it?
Actually, the reason I don't know is exactly the reverse. I think about it too much. And then I find myself finding holes in the idea of democracy, free will and all the other great things which are the opposite of those nasty things but never seem to quite work when put into practice. I find myself finding holes in my plans for what to eat for dinner and then I have a really hard time choosing between vegetarian sausages and sweet potato falafels so I choose both (true story).
I went to a lecture on 'irony' a few days ago. The lecturer's conclusion is that great irony, in fact, great fiction, makes you lose your bearings, leaves you confused and unsure of your previous convictions. Re-assessing your decisions and coming to a thousand different conclusions are what make literature so great.
I extend that effect of literature to life. That's my excuse for the mish-mash of these writings, in particular this post which reads like a tick-box of all the things not to do to have a successful blog. But that's alright.