The Infallible Test

Crushes can be excruciating, unrequited love can be soul-tearing. But at the end of the day, fantasy relationships are hormones fuelling your imagination. And eventually the fuel will run out, as long as you stop refuelling.

Anyway, enough with the extended metaphors. The point is that we all get over these one-sided love affairs in the end. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, and occasionally you'll find a character who could be in a book or a film, so mulish is their masochistic resolve to not get over it. To these people, I give this advice: one must first get over themselves before they can get over someone else.

I know that may sound bitchy, but I'm definitely not saying we should all constantly be in this enlightened state. I'd suggest a good couple of months of obsessing over a relationship with no chance is pretty normal, but a good couple of years isn't.

And so for those people, hovering around the couple of months line, I designed a test, which I tried the test. It's so simple, yet infallible.

If you could only ever have one of them, would you choose this ring:

(Opal flower ring by Lydia Courteille, £15,065.00, and yes you can totally sell it)

or

(insert in the blank face your own crush's face)

A couple of additional notes to make:

-Yes, I am sure, your wonderful crush has a better haircut than this poor faceless guy
-No, if you don't like this particular ring you do not have to use that one in your test. Anything insanely expensive and beautiful will do
-NO, your crush is NOT proposing to you with the ring. You can only choose one.

So, which would you choose? When I knew it was the ring, I knew I was finally free.