The Quarterly Manifestation of Greener Grass Syndrome

Recently, it’s been very, very cold. Maybe it’s just the Londoner weakling in me, but no amount of snugly knitwear and pretty scarves and lovely boots can quite compensate for the freezing chill when you wake up in the morning and have to get dressed, before the heating turns on. Even worse is the ever present darkness. A whole day can pass with barely a couple of hours of sunlight; even then it is not exactly lightness and brightness. All in all, I am completely and utterly fed up and want more than anything to experience a lovely day in the hot summer sun, a desire made even worse by the knowledge that it isn’t going to happen any time soon.

But as I was sitting here feeling all doom and gloom, I began to realise that what I was really experiencing was the Quarterly Manifestation of Greener Grass Syndrome. That is to say that every season you’re left wishing for the type of weather which you won’t get for a very long time. It’s pretty much an established fact that the grass is always greener on the other side for at least one thing in life: weight, relationships, lifestyle, fame, boobs. But the odd thing about weather is that you do actually find yourself with the greener grass, by which time you’ve realised you actually did love the yellowy parched look. And it’s not too late, you can always go back and when you do, you’ll inevitably change your mind again.

So as I wish for summer, uncomfortably present in the back of my mind are the memories of heat rash, longings for snow and warm cups of tea by the fireplace. I just want to scream at myself 5 months ago: IT SNOWED TODAY AND GUESS WHAT, IT’S NOT MAGICAL FAIRY DUST. IN FACT, IT NEVER EVEN SETTLES IN LONDON.

OK, so there’s no denying that winter fashion is far more substantial than the vest and shorts combo which is the only thing bearable in extreme heat. But I’m not even going somewhere sunny for the foreseeable future, and let’s face it, the UK isn’t particularly well known for extreme heat. There’s one other thing which my sun-drunk self always seems to forget: warm coats instantly hide even the most chic of knitted ensembles. Which you can’t even see because it’s always night-time.

The real problem here, as you can see, is the selective editing which goes on in the minds of those suffering from the Quarterly Manifestation of Greener Grass Syndrome. Right now, all I can associate winter with is exams stress (and the spots which that comes with), the brain-ache situation in Gaza… basically everything dark. Naturally there’s fun stuff going on too, but oh wasn’t I having so much more fun in the summer? Erm, no! There were wars then too, even if the reactions of those around me weren’t as emotionally charged. As this summer rolls round, so will exams more important than the current ones and therefore a greater quantity of spots will appear. And now, as I begin to think about it, I remember having just as many feelings of discontentment as in the winter. Only then they were accompanied by anger that the rest of the world was having fun in the sun.