Monday, 16 June 2008

Thank you kindly

A couple of weeks ago (or more, or less; my sense of time is hugely distorted) I had an interesting semi-discussion via comments with on the subject of etiquette.

I personally hold the belief that the concept of etiquette is ever so ridiculous: a set of old-fashioned rules which people must adhere to in order to appear 'respectful'. In my opinion, people in general put the ideas of etiquette and respect together, whilst I see them as very different things. Take the example of what to wear to a wedding. According to the unspoken (although often written) rules of etiquette, black is the suitable colour to wear. Modesty should be preserved.

To me, this 'rule' is hugely ridiculous; that something like the colour and cut of one's clothing can be a sign of grief/respect/whatever seems to undermine the importance of the occasion. However and this is important, I understand that some people enjoy and place a great deal of importance in tradition. It is out of respect to them and not the laws of etiquette, that I would wear black to their funeral and not to their weddings.

But with the issue of thank-you cards I simply cannot bring myself to do what is deemed polite. I have never before sent a shop-bought thank-you card because I believe in the power of a kind 'thank-you'. I have mentioned on here before that I put a lot of effort intomy home-made cards and as a result, I am not willing to send a thank-you card to every single teacher at the end of the school year, nor every single person who gives me a birthday gift. When I do say thank-you, it's not etiquette but gratitude.


  1. cliché is part of our world !! it's normal !

  2. There are so mnay "rules" to follow it gets quite wearying. A friend told me she has to get a gift before she can visit her friend's family at their house, b/c apparently the mother doesn't like people who don't bring gifts! How ridiculous?! She should be grateful if she gets something and otherwise not care--people shouldn't have to bring an offering to get into your good graces (especially as she is an American in American culture, I understand it's different some other places in the world).

  3. good for you! I shouldn't say this because I'm good friends with a Hallmark heiress, but greeting cards are such a scam!

  4. Mr Style - huh?

    Clothes Horse: aah I sould be ashamed, I was going to add to the end of my post that thank-you cards are DEFINITELY not out of etiqette but either gratitude... or because I want something from them ;)

    Pamcasso, how cool?!?? A Hallmark heiress!

  5. I love handmade cards. I wish more people took the time to make and give them.