It's no surprise that I have been a tensed up nerveball recently. I have had beauty deprivation.
You see, these past few weeks I have been so cooped up in my study room, surrounded by only as much beauty as you can find in a colourful textbook. Occasional binges in the form of a mad, guilty shopping trip resulted in little pleasure and few spoils. Then, this Friday, came freedom.
But instead of the expected sense of relief, and the tensions relaxed this unwinding nerve ball exploded. I am trying to explain this with analogies and similes but am finding it very hard. It seemed momentously important to make up for all the missed freedom and fun and beauty. Everything was suddenly ten times bigger, more tantalising, more beautiful. Still unattainable.
What I am trying (and as I said, finding very difficult) to express, is that in my beauty deprivation I forgot something very important: good things come in small packages. How could I forget that the best most beautiful things are often so small you don't notice them unless you look, and so powerful that they don't need to be any bigger?
So, slowly slowly, I have begun to recover. I have been helped by
I have had the pleasure of eating out multiple times over the weekend, starting off with a celebrity sighting I eavesdropped on a celebrated male comedian's conversation over lunch on Friday. However it was yesterday which yielded the most delightful meal: a spinach crepe charmingly called La Popeye. I have had a craving for a crepe for months now, and sweet ones always seem overly indulgent so it was a wonderful meal choice as I could also fool myself into feeling a little healthy, what with the iron-rich spinach and the buckwheat flour. Yum.
Instead of worrying that I am not maximising the two hours break I can afford with life-changing cinema, I can now happily watch frivolous films. I finally got round to watching Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day this weekend. Spanning, as the title suggests, only one day, Amy Adams' frequent costume changes, and the sumptuous set made it a light on the brain feast for the eyes.
Although I have not yet fully regained my fashion mojo (um... wearing the same jeans for three days in a row... oops) I have had a lovely time browsing the rails. After last week's mad, bad shopping trip which resulted in a couple of work shirts (more on those later) and a couple of blisters, I have been taking it easy with gentle strolls along posh high streets. I have almost bought some gorgeous dresses, necklaces, earrings and shoes.
I believe that it doesn't matter that I didn't buy these items. Trying them on was enough; surrounding myself in their beauty was enough.