As I have mentioned, I don't really like reading trashy novels. When the Twilight series began to tighten its grip on the entire female teenaged Western civilisation, I ran as far as possible in the opposite direction. I simply refused to read it as a matter of my integral self-respect. Even so, whisperings about the awesomeness of Robert Pattison (who? Oh... that one in Harry Potter? Doesn't he have a sort of squashed nose?) and his wonderfully vampireish fictional alter-ego Edward Cullen became impossible to evade.
When the film came out a good few weeks ago, a tiny part of me was curious - I am more lenient with trashy films. But I still wasn't willing to pay the extortionate cinema prices to watch this story.
Yesterday, with hours to go until the fireworks in central London (Happy 2009, guys!) I was finally persuaded to see what all the fuss is about. For the first half an hour, the surprisingly full auditorium was in fits of giggles at the pseudo-scary vampire smoulders. But after a while we all began to fall under the spell of the beautiful vampire. He really is so much more stunning in action.
Edward: 'You're like my own personalised brand of heroin.'
I know, it's laughable right? But by this time, every female in the room was wishing that they had a beautiful vampire confessing to her how much he wanted her blood.
So here we have it, proof that even the most absurd chat-up lines can be rendered quite magical when uttered by an insanely attractive vampire.