a serious splash on something you won't see

A couple of months ago I was a little bit slimmer post-Summer than I am now mid-Snow. I felt body confident enough to go bra shopping. We all know how depressing bra shopping can be for one's body image, but I felt brave enough.

Nevertheless, I still came away feeling down. The only bra which I felt truly fitted great had been the most expensive, by far. Several others with similar colours, shapes, straps, sizes and padding and lower prices were all somehow wrong.

Today I went in a shopping search for a party dress. I hate clothes shopping this close to the sales so I stuck to the rails already on sale. I found plenty of gorgeous scarves, shirts, jumpers, even lovely daytime dresses, but every dress that looked nice on the hanger was a failure on. It doesn't help when you want a velvet dress that your budget restricts you to thin, stretchy ones which make you look pregnant: pot belly and legs bulging with water retention.

I decided to look for a bra. My bra. It's false economy, I decided, to buy a dress the same price as the bra which I will wear once. Better to buy the undergarment which will make the overgarments I already own look good. Having made this decision, I got angry then infuriated as I was unable to find it.

One different shopping venue an hour away later, I tried it on. Actually, I took three other alternatives into the changing room and tried them all on first, hoping that one of them would look great. They didn't.

Thus runs the (abbreviated) story of how I came to spend £35 on a t-shirt bra. I don't feel guilty; I earned the money and I spent the same I would have on a rubbish sale party dress. Still, my mother's reaction was that I was being completely ridiculous; but she hasn't seen the bra yet.

And she doesn't know how it makes me feel; how it is the first bra I have bought not just because of comfort, not just because it minimises the boobs, not just because it stops them from moving when I run, not just because it's a pretty colour, not just because it fits well. It's all of those things! I know most people object to spending more on something people can't see as you stroll down the street than the bag you carry on your shoulder. It's no status symbol or style statement. But I still think it's worth spending on, because of how it makes me feel. I'm interested to hear what you think; do you spend more money on what others can see, or on what is personal to only you - not just underwear (obviously a lot of lingerie is not meant to be just for the owner) but a book, a new set of headphones, a dressing gown, a nice pen?